Polish Nigerian House for Rent

Some of you might know that I will be moving at the end of the month.  It’s July 9th and I don’t have a place to live yet.  Apartment hunting can be very stressful (though I do have a good lead).  However, it can also be humorous.

I found a 3 bedroom, 2.5 baths house for $900.  Sounds too good to be true?  Probably, but I emailed them to inquire because you never know.  Well, they responded and it’s just too funny not to share:

Good day Applicant,

Thanks for your email and interest in renting my house. I am Susan Kanter, the owner of the house you are making enquiry of. Actually I did reside in the house with my family, my husband and my only daughter before and presently we have moved out due to my official job transfer or posting, whatever you may call it, which has now found me in Warsaw, Poland. Presently my house is still available for rent for $900 USD per month (which includes utilities), though i intended selling it off but on a later thought changed my mind and have decided putting it on rent. More so now, I’m currently in Lagos, Nigeria for an international Christian follower’s crusade taking place at the Nigeria national stadium, by one Pastor Chris of the Christ Embassy Ministry.

I want you to understand that I spent a lot on my property that you have requested to rent, so I will solicit for your absolute maintenance of this house and would want you to treat it as your own because cleanliness they say is next to Godliness. It is not all about the money to be paid on rent or spent; it is all about a good maintenance culture which I want you to adopt on the property. I want you to keep it tidy all the time so that I would be full of smiles whenever I come and above all, a good, strong and tight relationship between us when I come for a check up. Please one more thing, I wouldn’t like to have any benefit of trust in you because I want to stand in your words that the property would be well taken care of all the time.

Here is the address of the House again: ***********, Chicago IL ***** as to really see how lovely it is if from only the pictures you saw in my posting compare to the 100% comfort to be derived from it as an occupant. Please note than you will only be able to drive by the house for now but can’t have a look at the interior until i have sent the keys and documents of the house to you. Reason because, i couldnt find someone trust worthy to drop the keys with as my call down here was so sudden. I do hope you understand.

It has a dramatic entry foyer with ceramic floor. Extremely spacious rooms throughout with lots of big windows…nice and light! New neutral paint and some newer carpet. Very quiet, low traffic area. New fridge (7/07)…I believe it’s absolutely a perfect home for you and your family. Utilities include Water, Trash, Sewer, Gas etc. Please note that, a deposit payment would be required if accepted to have the property rented..

SO IF YOU ARE REALLY INTERESTED I WILL WANT YOU TO FILL THE RENT APPLICATION FORM BELOW.

RENT APPLICATION FORM.

FIRST NAME:__________
MIDDLE NAME:__________
LAST NAME:__________
PROFESSION:__________
PHONE: _______________
(CELL)PHONE__________
(WORK)PHONE__________
(HOME)PHONE__________
ARE YOU MARRIED: __________
KIDS _____ (YES/NO), HOW MANY ________
PRESENT ADDRESS: _____________________
CITY: _______________
STATE:______________
ZIP CODE: ____________
HOW LONG ___________IF RENTING
WHY ARE YOU LEAVING__________
IF THIS HOUSE IS BEING GIVEN TO YOU,
HOW LONG DO YOU INTEND STAYING ____________
WHEN DO YOU INTEND MOVING IN ______________
IF YOU HAVE A PET: _________
NAME OF PET: _____________
KIND OF PETS: _____________
HABITS: ___________
DO YOU SMOKE ______________
DO YOU DRINK ______________
DO YOU WORK LATE NIGHT ____
HOW SOON CAN YOU MAKE THE DEPOSIT PAYMENT REQUIRED: ____________
WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU WISH TO RECEIVE THE KEYS AND DOCUMENTS OF THE HOUSE: _______________

Looking forward to hearing from you with all this details so that I can present it to my family, pray over it (because I consult the Almighty God before making any decision) and if accepted, and then have them stored in my file in case of issuing the receipt for you and contacting you. Await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the document and the keys to you, please we are giving you all this based on trust and again I will want you to stick to your words, you know that we are very far apart now and only putting everything into God’s hands and hope that you will not let us down.

The house will be available for rent for a period of five and a half years so you have a choice of deciding how long you intend staying there… Here is my number 011-*********** or +234-***********, I will be expecting to hear from you.

Feel free to call me for more information and arrangements.

God Bless,
Susan

We’re All Just Normal People

When I was in DC, I was fortunate enough to meet wonderful DC bloggers such as FrancoBeans, LiLu, DCPrincessQ, Maxie, Deutlich, Alice’s Wonderland and others, not once, but twice.  Each time I hung out with them, I had a wonderful time (with hijinks ensued).

I’m not foreign to YouTube gatherings, tweetups and blogger meetups, but it’s always weird meeting someone you admire or heard about for the first time.  You just don’t know what to expect, how to act and how the person(s) you’re looking forward to meet would react to you.  It can be kind of nerve wrecking.  However, it was during one of my great conversation with FrancoBeans when he said, “We’re all just normal people.”

He’s right, we’re all just normal people with a web persona.  Often times we put our Internet followings into a higher standing because we admire them and look to them for their awesomeness.  Yet, we forget that they are just regular people just like us who likes to hang out, be friends and have a good time.

While I was hanging out with the famous DC bloggers, I couldn’t help but have FrancoBean’s words echo in my head.  “We’re all just normal people.” There they were, just hanging out and having a good time.  Not only I was with them, I was one of them.

I remember my first meetup/gathering; I was in awe meeting the Vlogbrothers for the first time.  I’ll admit it, they are my heroes.  They made it cool to be a nerd again.  It was through them that I was able to meet and become friends with Dr. Noise and Liz of SisterSalad.  Heck, Liz & I are working on a super secret project (nerdfighter reference FTW) for later on this year.  Never would I have thought that I would befriend these famous YouTube celebrities (or even have John Green buy me a beer).  And yet, they’re just normal people like you and I.

The #20sbchi meetup two weekends ago, I was able to meet these famous and amazing bloggers for the first time.  The awe was present among us, but we also realized that we’re just normal people that when together, creates an amazing bubble of awesomeness.  We were all just normal people having fun.

Now when I meet up with bloggers, twitterers, YouTubers and other Internet peeps for the first time (or even any time), I don’t worry too much anymore because know that they’re just normal people like me.   It’s not like the awe is gone, it’s just changed from meeting someone Internet famous to being awesome together.

Speaking of awesome, I wonder what NYC will bring…

Boobs in Ireland

Here is an excerpt from my friend Mashley who joined me for my Ireland leg of my trip:

I went to Ireland and rented a car and drove on the wrong side of the road and got lost in the Irish countryside on roads that looked big on the map but in reality were only wide enough for barely one car, let alone two, or one car and a horse pulling a buggy.
I loved Ireland. We rented a car in Cork but almost immediately drove to Blarney Castle. I kissed the Blarney stone, although later I learned that the men that help you kiss it also pee on it. How disappointing for guys whose job it is is basically to look down at boobs all day. To kiss the Blarney stone you have to lay on your back and lean back, suspending your head over many stories above the ground. So my friend took a picture of me kissing the Blarney stone and all that appear in the picture are my boobs.
Then we drove to Galway. We had a hostel right in the middle of everything, which was great. There were a ton of pubs with live traditional music, which was AWESOME. The next day (after getting lost even with a GPS) we drove to Connemara, which is supposedly one of the most beautiful places in Ireland. I agree. Then we went to the Cliffs of Moher, which were windy enough to knock us over, and we ended up having dinner randomly in a tiny town which also had live music. We got to Cork late and were going to couch surf but since it was so late we just slept in the airport and when I couldn’t sleep I experimented with putting on every piece of clothing I brought to lighten up my suitcase, so that I wouldn’t get charged to check it for 30 euro with my laptop inside!
Then we flew to Dublin and saw Trinity College and the book of Kells, and also went to the Guinness factory and the Jameson whisky factory. Both were fun. We couch surfed with a couple, a Polish girl and a German man, as well as another couple from Texas being hosted. The guy used to be a drug dealer until he was arrested for 7 felonies and then experienced a conversion and got a degree in theology. The girl used to be Catholic and a NET minister and then converted to “the Vineyard”. We had some really interesting and spiritual gratifying conversation over a Guinness.

233rd Birthday

Happy Fourth of July from Washington D.C.

Reflecting on Magnificent, Epic and Wonderful

I know a lot of you dedicated readers are patiently waiting for me to summarize and share my magnificent backpacking trip in Europe last month.  There are more of you wanting to hear my side of the epic 20 Something Bloggers Ultimate Meet Up weekend.  And then there are a few of you wondering why I’m in DC, relaxing and having a wonderful time.

After any major event, we all are in a buzz and high from such an amazing experience.  We keep on thinking about it, reflecting on it and reliving it in our heads.  The problem is we reflect on it too long such that we forget to continue on with our lives.  Yes, we felt very alive during those amazing days, but life continues.  We forget that the awesomeness does not have to be isolated to a specific weekend.  What we need to do is bring the awesomeness into our everyday life.  Make each day as awesome, epic, wonderful and magnificent like the adventure we had together. We often forget to do this; to which the day after becomes mundane and dreaded.

The little joys of our lives become overshadowed by the big moments. We become so engulfed by the special times that even the little pleasures take a back seat.  To which, I say take a step back and live not in the past but live in the present; be alive!

After coming home from Europe, I was sad but I was also happy.  As magnificent as the trip was, I knew that when I came home, I would be different.  Europe made me alive. I knew Chicago is nothing compared to the adventures I had in Europe, but I also knew that I can feel alive in Chicago once again.  It’s not just finding little pieces of Europe in Chicago, but it’s about living and loving the place where you call home.  I have always loved Chicago, but come home from my backpacking journey, I’ve come to love Chicago more in a new way.  I’m no longer afraid to dance in the streets and show my joy.

Then comes the epic 20SB Meetup.  There are ample of blog posts about this weekend.  Yes, the weekend was amazing and all the posts truly reflect it.  However, as you read each posts, you can sense a little sadness that it ended.  But you can also see that every person took something away with them that was greater than the epicness of the weekend.   Besides the awesome swag bags, we left with new friendships, memories and most importantly, a sense for adventure.

And here I am in an Ethiopian coffee shop in DC.  I’m just relaxing and having a wonderful time hanging out with my DC friends.  Tonight, I will meet up with some DC bloggers.  As for the rest of the time here in DC, I have no idea what I’m doing.  I’m just going with the flow and let the adventure happen.  And that’s one thing I learned recently; even though the adventure of Europe and the 20SB Meetup are over, I know that the next adventure is just around the corner.  So here I am in DC on another adventure.  And when this is over, I know that the next one is just around the corner.

It’s okay to reflect and think about the amazing times of the past.  I’ll be walking down the street and a random memory would pop into my head, causing me to gleam with a large smile.  However, let’s not forget what’s happening now and live our lives with the awesomeness that each day brings.  The next adventure is just around the corner.  Until then, be alive!

Dreaming in 140 or less

I don’t know about you, but recently I had a dream which consisted entirely of tweets.

Let me clarify.

This Twitter dream is the epitome of my nerdiness, 2.0-ness and my addiction to the Internets¹.  The dream does not consist of me tweeting the happenings of my life or my surroundings.   Oh no, it’s worse.  It would be even slightly acceptable if I was dreaming of something funny and say to myself, “I need to tweet about this.”  Sadly, there’s no hope for me.  No one I knew was present in my dream, but there were a cast of characters; up to 140 of them at a single time to be in fact.

Folks, I dreamt about twitter.   This dream consisted not of situations or random events.  This dream was purely of tweets.   That’s right, tweets.  Like this one:

For a whole night, random tweets would flash into my head.  I’m passed out in a deep REM sleep when a tweet would appear in my head, causing me to smile for a second, only to fade away as I return to my slumber.  Little nerdy?  Yes.   Okay, it’s very nerdy.  But what can I say?  When the Internets meets up and awesomeness occurs, how could we not share it to the world?  I mean, I was just replaying the weekend back in the most nerdy and yet socially acceptable way possible.   What else would you do after an epic weekend?

At least I didn’t tweet about this.  =P

¹ There is a difference between the Internet and the Internets.  The Internet is for porn, while the Internets is for awesomeness.

@20SB Ultimate Meetup

Let’s just say that this weekend was quite epic.