Things I’m Most Afraid of, No. 2

#2 – Failure.

I afraid to fail. I cannot stand the thought of people, friends who rely on me only to realize that I fell short. I had too many disappointments in my life caused by others. I refuse for everyone else to suffer at my cost. I refuse to fail them.

I always feel like it’s my responsibility to take on tasks (sometimes unnecessary) to prove to others and myself that I am capable. Some of the tasks are simple enough, but I pressure myself to go beyond and excel. If I don’t, people won’t notice me or realize my true capabilities. The harder tasks I take up because I want to be challenged or was assigned. These tasks always makes me nervous because it often entails things that I either don’t know or requires me to do something that I’m not use to. I’m always cautious, too cautious because of my fear. However, it is that fear that I refuse to stop and give up. I always give it my all and hope that I am able to excel. My work is a prime example. It’s more than I am use to but I refuse to let the program fail.

The greatest failure that I am afraid of is not being the best friend/person I could be to others. Throughout my life, particularly my childhood, I had many friends fail on me. Due to this, I was wary of making friends for a long time. It wasn’t until high school when I met my first true friends and made friends again. From then on, I promised myself that I will be the best friend any person could have lest they are betrayed like I was. I can’t stand people who are fake friends. I refuse to be another one of them. I will not be a failed friend. I will be the best friend each person could ever hope for. It is through this hope that one day I will finally meet my best friend.

I hate failure. I’m afraid of failing. I will always work hard and hope that I will never fail nor disappoint you.


5 thoughts on “Things I’m Most Afraid of, No. 2

  1. I’m also scared of failing…. But the sad thing about me is I let this fear paralyze me and then I actually get no work done. Hohum. I hope you’re not too hard on yourself. If you’ve been working really hard, I think you deserve to treat yourself to something wonderful.

  2. Pingback: Things I’m Most Afraid of, Recap « .:: PhamPants

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