Some days, my day is so jammed back that I never have a chance to use the restroom until I’m driving home and am like “Oh crap!” But today is not the case. I was able to pee today. Except, I kinda chugged a whole water bottle before I left work. Lo behold, that water caught up fast!
Instinct should have told me that as I pull out of the parking lot at school, I should go back and pee because it’s a 45 min drive before I get home. Unfortunately, I have not read Darwin so I continued to drive.
10 miles from home. “Okay, I got to pee. First thing I do when I get home.”
7.5 miles from home. “Man, I really got to pee.”
5 miles. “Gosh, it’s starting to hurt. And the windshield wiper fluids are not helping the cause. Turn on the heat.”
2.5 miles. “OMG! HOLD IT IN!!! I’M SQUIRMING. IT HURTS!!!”
.5 miles. “MCDONALDS!!!!”
So I pulled into the McDees. Turned off the car and opened the door. The act of trying to get out of the car almost caused the explosion of my bladder. Waddling to the McDees was quite the feat because there were a few people in the place looking out. And then I had to hold the door open for the girl who was carrying so much stuff in her arms. “Can you move faster please? My water is going to break and I will go into labor here if you don’t move out of the way.”
Zig zagging around the newly build McDees only made me want to cry because I couldn’t find the bathroom. And then…oh God. The attendant was heading to the restroom to clean it. My God have mercy on me. YES! She turned to the women’s and in I go to the men’s.
Walking out of the McDonald’s, I felt so revealed and lighter. Never again. And no, I didn’t order anything.