Everyone has a favor pair of pants. Whether it’s a pair of jeans, work pants or even pajama pants. It’s the pair that is so comfortable, you would wear over and over again. It’s also the same pair that you don’t want to wear too much lest it gets old and ruined. It also get bonus points if it makes your legs and/or ass sexy. You see folks, I have that pair of pants.
I have a pair of sexy work pants.
Now men, I know you’re laughing at me right now but think about this. You also have one pair that just makes everything about you look flattering. Trust me, you do. As for women, you know what I’m talking about.
My sexy pants is a beige canvas denim pair from Express Men. It’s straight all the way down my legs as it accentuates my lean runners legs while hinting at my sexy calves. (Yes folks, I have sexy runners legs and calves.) It’s not too loose or snugged by my crotch. And best part, it makes my ass looks good. Men, you can understand because our pants are not friendly to our arse. Women, trust me; my ass in these pants are to die for. *wink, wink*
I do enjoy the clothes at Express Men, but I have issues with it. 1. It doesn’t always fit me well (style and form) and 2. it’s expensive. When I first saw these part of pants, I knew these were for me. After trying them on, I knew I had to have them. However, they were expensive. Like $80 expensive.
At the time, I was a Catholic school teacher so I was getting paid pennies and some food scraps. I couldn’t afford it but heck, I sure wanted it. So I kept on checking back, hoping that it would drop slightly. Alas, it didn’t. Sadden by the thought that my dream pants might not happen, I looked towards the future of fashion – i.e. Kohl’s.
Over a year later, I happen to walk into Express Men on a whim and lo behold, THE PANTS! The PHAM PANTS! (-150 points for bad puns)
Not only was it on sale, it was beyond reasonable. It was $7.95. SOLD!
I had my sexy pants and I wore them with love. I wore them to work. I wore while at play. I wore them as often as I could. I loved them. I loved to the point that even my childhood stuff animal could get jealous.
That being said, I wore the pants so much, the wear began to show. But I didn’t care, it was my sexy work pants. Was being the key.
Today, I wore it under an outer layer of sweatpants to prevent me from the brutal cold from Chicago. While removing said layer, I looked at my leg and lo behold, there was a hole. And not a tiny hole like my back pocket (totally PG, I promise), not a sizable hole that marked the end to these pants. A hole on my thigh that hinted to my sexy runners leg. A hole that made me realized that it’s time to say goodbye.
Farewell sexy work pants. You were well loved these last 2 years. I miss you. Maybe one day, another pair can properly fill your trousers.
(- 350 points and banned from making future puns.)