August, you have been a fickle.
You were both fantastic and an absolute nightmare. The days sped by quicker than a blink with so many amazing opportunities and awful situations. I can’t tell if I am happy or sad that you’re finally leaving me.
You greeted me as I stepped off the airplane from LA and rushed me off the VidCon high to the chaos that is August. Each day was jammed packed with opportunities and faults. I couldn’t make you out. I never had time to rest because you were constantly throwing things at me.
I knew you were going to be a packed month, so you fed on my disappointment that I could not participate in VEDA this year. However, you brought one of my best friends into town for the night to make it up for me. You gave me my first YouTube wedding where I was so grateful to attend. But you threw me guilt for not flying to Madrid, Spain and attending World Youth Day. You could never let me be happy nor could you let me be sad. You confused me & I hated you for doing this to me.
I was blessed with an abundance of Internet friends arriving in Chicago, but kept me from sleeping & being sober. You showed me that for everything a person gives, good will would return to you. And yet, you never let the goodness last with the constant reminders that I am a refugee at work due to the great flood or the absolute frustration of Comcast & 6 am mornings.
You brought me offers & opportunities that I have only dreamt about, but those came at a cost. You knew the temptation was too good to pass, but you gave them to me anyways because it was for my future, even if the cost was so great. You gave me an electric car but no place to plug in. You sent me all over Chicago but never let me stop in a single place for more than a few hours. You used me to your guilty pleasure.
I felt so isolated & connected as I walked through your days. I was always surrounded by people and yet so alone. You took pleasure in the bi-polar world that I was living. I hated and loved it at the same time. I couldn’t say no, nor could I say yes. I was as fickle as you were.
And now tonight, you are about to leave me. I still can’t tell if you were worth it. So many opportunities presented itself and yet so much destruction was committed. You knew that this would happen. You let it happen & I was cursed to follow through.
You were the Doctor & I was your companion. But at times I felt like the Doctor and you were my companion. Either way, it is in the parting of the ways that we must now say goodbye. There was much triumph and death during our time together, but that is to be expected when spending time with the Doctor. Now, it is time to say goodbye. It is the journey’s end, but know that I will always turn left.
Doctor, I’m going to miss you. Rose, you were fantastic.