That is my 2011 Chicago Marathon confirmation ticket that I received in the mail today. That is also a very sad & depressed face as I am reminded once again that I can’t run it.
Running was never my life. But not running has made life bland. It’s interesting that just a simple hobby that I thoroughly enjoyed, could effect me this much.
It was only 2007 when I started to run. True, my first race was 2006, but that was to redeem my cool teacher status. It took me 3 years before I called myself a running and here I am four years later, unable to run.
I still have a Chronicles of a Half Marathon from this past spring that I have yet to edit. The lack of running has waned my enthusiasm to edit the video lest I want to be constantly reminded of my injury.
The truth is that I can run. It’s just not pretty. I could run 2 or 3 miles, a simple warm-up in my eyes. Perhaps I can toss in a 5 if I’m lucky. But I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t want to half ass my run nor do I want the pain to get worse. I just have to sit and wait for nature to do its course.
A collapsing arch isn’t fun. It’s slow, painful and depressing. Walking is bad enough, but sleeping is worse. This constant dull reminder to my dreaming brain that my foot hurts.
I want to run. I want to run so badly. If I wasn’t so hard headed, I would be out there running right now. But I keep on reminding myself no. No. Wait until next year where you can start again. Start a new season, get back into shape and let those minutes drop in your triumphant return. A return that will probably take two years.
Two years. I look at the calendar now and realized that I’m almost a year into when this pain started. When my flat foot decides to be flatter.
Now, I just look at my confirmation ticket and wonder, what if. Granted the “what if” has an asterisk of being 15 pounds heavier and barely being able to walk up a flight of stairs.
If there is any consolation, I know that my bib is going to good legs & feet: @henjealy. She’ll run her heart out & make me proud. She’ll make all the #runnerds proud.
I may be done, but my bib isn’t.