I’ve been secretly training and losing weight for my birthday since April. I became unhappy with my body and sad that I wasn’t running anymore. I felt that something was taken from me. I wanted it back, but most of all, I wanted control again. Control of my birthday.
Since 2007, every birthday of mine, I ran 10 miles. Some times alone, some times with my fellow runnerds, but always 10 miles. I was training for the Chicago Distance Classic, now Rock ‘n’ Roll Chicago, and my birthday always landed on a 10 mile week/weekend. Being the introvert that I am, plus not being a person who really celebrate (let alone enjoys) my birthday, I decided to do my long run on my birthday. It was my way to celebrate, so to speak.
Then 2 years ago, I got injured and stopped running. No more running. No more birthday runs. The little special me time that I used to celebrate this day of my birthday was gone. I missed it. But most of all, I missed having that control/introvert time of my birthday. Where people don’t acknowledge it, but instead allow me to zone out & be me.
So at the end of April, I decided I wanted it back. I started to run again. It was slow and painful, but I wanted to work myself up to this birthday gift to myself. This gift of running 10 miles. That is, until I won the lottery to the NYC Marathon. So I added a 5K to it. I’m fine with running a half marathon on my birthday. A solo half marathon. Something for me. My gift to myself. I’m excited and nervous cuz I’ve worked so hard and it’s only 5 days away.
I have high expectations and terrified that I would fail like I did this past Saturday on my long run. But most of all, I just wanted to coast along the lakefront.